I was wondering what you dream of. for you see - I only dream of you. Like every dream I ever had was wiped out and my memory picked clean by love...

invisible riverside

I lost my heart in the snow.

si vis amari, ama

sometimes love hits like a drive-by-shooter. or like a a Stockholm syndrome.
it's late. already. captivity is bitter sweet and my dreams spread like shadow wings upon the freshly laid snow.

midnight

deep into the blizzard the world feels surreal, life seems to be bound by too many strings tied tightly to a white granite anchor.

out in the night the skies shine. as if every star found the next one and melted into a single, infinite kiss above the snow and cold.

every snow flake that melted on my cheek today was a feeling of gratitude. profound and honest gratitude. just as every gust of wind was pushing open my lips to help me speak. to let out the fire within. just like everywhere i looked I hoped to find the magic words to unleash a binding spell. to freeze time or just me.

a snow song

Balance is such a tricky quick sand.
I lost mine.
Soul searching made me find things that I had long ignored, like dreams and fairy-tales. Like whispering with my soul through the eyes, the ability to stare mentally at a single memory for hours.
Gaps in my days.
Fresh hand-made-memories like a secret room in my head, a warm and safe room that so like Escher's castles began growing from inside out under the pressure of my hands pounding the walls from inside-out with the force of a thousand emotions.
Hours of complete silence and wuthering anticipation, early mornings staring at the clock and counting seconds..
So strange, so much, so soon, so uninvited...
so wonderful and wholesome, so ... undeniable.
so terrifying too.
destinations come to mind, places to hide in, roads to run on...
the fear that it will be put out. put down... i tasted my own fear on his lips, my own hunger and longing, my soul was there, he must've tasted it too...
there's no room for "what now?". that question alone raises up a hurricane of pain and fear... I don't want to know.

de prin hartiile vechi (electronic vorbind)

Pe pragul dealurilor negre, 
Vantul otravit si rece 
Se repede sa n-adune, 
Sa desfaca, sa ne franga 
Sa ne-mparta ne-ostoit 
In hoarde goale si barbare… 
In turme de serafi morbizi, 
Si demoni. 
Umbre de eroi in viata, 
Prefacuti in praf si oase. Lumanari de vise arse, 
Nori din purpura s-otrava 
Sa ne-astearna sus in cer… 
Si-cearceaf de tepi si pietre 
Pentru aripile frante. 
Trist, prohodul sa ni-l cante.

In buza gropilor genuni
Jivine cu-ochi de sange  -

 Bestii blestemate de lumina,  
Goale ca si hoardele Barbare,  
Adulmeca si-nghit parfumul  
Pasilor de om gresit..  
Nascut mort si-apoi pierit  
In pragul negru de pe deal, 
 Al vietii moarte,  
Al visului facut in scrum, 
 Menit din Prima Carte  
Sa se uite doar spre moarte.

Puhava fiinta! 

Carnea ce o porti, 

Vestmant de sange mort 

Si de cainta- 

Te va duce pana-n porti. 

Si cand oasele-ti golite 

De sputa vietii 

Si de tine 

Scutura-vor-se tacut 

De vremuri pline si borhot, 

- lumea duce-s-a-nainte, 

Spre urmatorul “tu” 

Pe carnea caruia sa scrie 

"Nu visa la vesnicie".